Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Power Of Laziness

Laziness is the mother of all invention. There is nothing in our lives that is necessary. we don't know why we are here or what we are supposed to be doing. Everything that happens occurs because of  presumption and inflated sense of self importance. Certainly things like food and shelter seem like necessities but if humans have no apparent purpose then our necessity to live is purely self created. 

People don't go to work everyday because it gives them a sense of importance, they do it for the money. Certainly there are a few lucky people out there who are able to enjoy their jobs and feel like they are contributing to the world but I am speaking generally about the masses. What do people do with their money after they have paid their bills? They go on vacation. Every moment that is not spent working is spent on leisure time or resting for the next work day. What do people do when they are rich? They don't work or, they invest all their time into a blowhardy passion project that no one else cares about. Most of our working lives are spent conspiring about how we can stop working or creating devices that do the work for us.

In the beginning there was man (okay, I guess there were probably some women there too). Man did everything because of instinct. He was totally connected to his surroundings. One day while he was tracking a wild beast for 15 miles his brain had an independent thought "goddamn my feet are tired." This made him have another thought: "There has got to be an easier way to get my hands on some wild beast meat." From this point on he started obsessing about different scenarios in order to catch prey. 

Fast forward through the generations: 

"Goddamn I hate walking"= Planes, trains automoblies

"Godamn I hate eating janky smoked meat in the summer" = the refrigerator

"Goddamn I hate getting up to change the channels"= remote control

"Goddamn I hate walking over to someone's house just to talk to them"= telephone.

Inside every hard working man or woman there is a lazy person trying to get out. Every great leap in technology is the result of someone who didn't want to work. If everyone did their job 100% of the time like they claim, a thought would never be wasted on anything besides the task at hand. There would never be an idle conversation, an anecdote or dirty joke. No blushing parent would talk about their babies first steps and no one would be consoled about their mothers leukemia. Idle times are moments when we are at rest, when we are human. 

We have this grand idea that if we are working, we are by virtue of the task more important than someone who is not working. But busy work just for the illusion of importance is not important at all. Laziness on the other hand is pure potential waiting to explode. Our greatest realizations come when are minds are free and our minds are free when we are not working.


  1. This is so true and again you made me laugh!
    If this were a religion I would follow it and its genius leader Drone!
    Just kidding I dont do religion, but it does make a lot more sense than most of those!
    Cheers for the laughs keep it up !

  2. woah kiki, where'd you get that scary picture?

  3. p.s. the religion is going to need some start up money so uh...ahem *clears throat looks at you expectantly*

  4. Originally, I thought I was too lazy to comment. But it turns out I'm not.

  5. I agree with the above poster, facebook has a like button for people who are too lazy to comment.

    Blogger needs a like button

  6. I've always embraced my inner slacker - the trouble is I'm a commited stoner, so I get these great ideas but can I be bothered to see them through ?
    Can I fuck.

    And leave kikis new pic alone - I prefer it to the spider.

    I'm off for a lie down.

  7. I would have to disagree. Most people will never think of any invention or make any worthwhile discovery especially if they embrace laziness and don't work. Plus I do not know anyone who claims to work 100% of the time. They are working to simply put food on the table with as little effort as possible.

    @xyz: you can add a like button to every post it is actually really easy.

  8. Tom, I suspect we aren't going to be a good fit of blogger and bloggie. Your perspective is the apparent and obvious answer. Almost all of these essays are the exception to the rule or the creation of absurd angles on a topic. You pointing out the general perspective time and again is just you revealing that you don't understand the device.

  9. You are my new Yogi master. (Not the bear, he works too hard trying to steal pic-a-nic baskets)

  10. @DD thanks. Where have you been lately? Has my blog updater been broken or have you not written one in a while?

  11. i have learned the art of laziness after being stuck in a La-Z-Boy for a year, then again for 2 months.

    then i run around like a loon trying to get everything done that's on 'the list'

  12. Yeah, I find it hilarious when people tell me that they give 110% at work. First off that's impossible, even if you give all you've got, it's still just 100%. Second, NO ONE gives 100%. I know I don't and I'm a fucking Cyborg Ninja! So yeah whatever!

    Good stuff bro!

  13. Hows this one ? its got a smile !
    About that start up money! I tried praying to the leader but no luck so far, but dont worry I have faith.

  14. I'm too lazy to come up with a witty comment and I can't find my witty comment robot. Oh well...

  15. Creative laziness with an aversion to bullshit is the mother of ingenuity.