Fuck The Like Button

90% of my Facebook activities revolve around poking my father. It should come as no surprise that I do not like Facebook. I don't dislike it for the same trendy reasons that the wannabe misanthropists do it. I don't dislike it because I am counter culture. I don't dislike it because it is primarily a tool for stupid people to congregate and exchange ideas. I simply reject it because of its premise and that premise is to share your life experiences with your friends and family. As a misanthrope with no money, how many friends could I really have and how valuable could a tool like Facebook be toward serving my needs? If anything, Facebook only exposes and shares my secrets with people that I don't really like, secrets that I probably wouldn't have talked about if I didn't feel obligated.  

As I've said before however, the only thing worse than acquainting yourself with a piece of technology or service that you don't like is being left behind by society. So I've bought in to a certain degree I'm not trying to pad my friends list or push a religious/political/environmental agenda but I will send you some gifts in farmville and take a survey from time to time. If you are a loyal Facebook user the only thing I ask of you is that use the "like" button with discretion. 


When I pen a status update I think about it and I try to be clever or interesting. Below is an example of a recent one:


"I'm thinking about starting a company that sells equipment to help older cats live healthier more active lives. I'm going to call it: Feline Aids."


Granted this status may not tickle your funny bone and I understand that. I don't expect everyone on my list to like everything that I say. However, I will then see someone else's status like this:


"Just bought some batteries" 

This status gets 4 "likes" and a discussion about what kind of batteries/what size are your favorites ensues. I don't want to call people outright dumb so I'll have to do it indirectly. What the Fuck people? I know that thinking on any level is difficult but you are presenting and supporting the idea that you are an idiot by "liking" and engaging in these topics. If you are making these status updates you should be ashamed. Unless you are posting on Facebook to let your brother/sister know that you have walked their dog which you are babysitting then there is no reason to report it. The only thing you are saying to sane intelligent people when you make a useless comment is "I am boring and useless but I want attention because I am narcissistic." If you are "liking" and replying to these useless status updates you are saying "I am an idiot who doesn't have thoughts. Thankfully you've mentioned batteries, batteries are something that even an idiot has been acquainted with in life. As an idiot, I will now talk about batteries and praise you for bringing up the topic."

If you see something you don't understand, work to understand it. Inquire, ask questions. Being passive is a disease. Sure this entire commentary is fueled by jealousy but that's beside the point. It's hard enough for me to maintain the facade that I support the human race as it is please don't make it more difficult by liking the fact that some dumbass ate a cookie.