The Power Of Laziness

Laziness is the mother of all invention. There is nothing in our lives that is necessary. we don't know why we are here or what we are supposed to be doing. Everything that happens occurs because of  presumption and inflated sense of self importance. Certainly things like food and shelter seem like necessities but if humans have no apparent purpose then our necessity to live is purely self created. 

People don't go to work everyday because it gives them a sense of importance, they do it for the money. Certainly there are a few lucky people out there who are able to enjoy their jobs and feel like they are contributing to the world but I am speaking generally about the masses. What do people do with their money after they have paid their bills? They go on vacation. Every moment that is not spent working is spent on leisure time or resting for the next work day. What do people do when they are rich? They don't work or, they invest all their time into a blowhardy passion project that no one else cares about. Most of our working lives are spent conspiring about how we can stop working or creating devices that do the work for us.

In the beginning there was man (okay, I guess there were probably some women there too). Man did everything because of instinct. He was totally connected to his surroundings. One day while he was tracking a wild beast for 15 miles his brain had an independent thought "goddamn my feet are tired." This made him have another thought: "There has got to be an easier way to get my hands on some wild beast meat." From this point on he started obsessing about different scenarios in order to catch prey. 

Fast forward through the generations: 


"Goddamn I hate walking"= Planes, trains automoblies


"Godamn I hate eating janky smoked meat in the summer" = the refrigerator


"Goddamn I hate getting up to change the channels"= remote control


"Goddamn I hate walking over to someone's house just to talk to them"= telephone.

Inside every hard working man or woman there is a lazy person trying to get out. Every great leap in technology is the result of someone who didn't want to work. If everyone did their job 100% of the time like they claim, a thought would never be wasted on anything besides the task at hand. There would never be an idle conversation, an anecdote or dirty joke. No blushing parent would talk about their babies first steps and no one would be consoled about their mothers leukemia. Idle times are moments when we are at rest, when we are human. 


We have this grand idea that if we are working, we are by virtue of the task more important than someone who is not working. But busy work just for the illusion of importance is not important at all. Laziness on the other hand is pure potential waiting to explode. Our greatest realizations come when are minds are free and our minds are free when we are not working.

Follow Thr...

I thought about continuing the sellout version of my blog.  I wanted you my loyal followers to think "Oh Em Gee" he's really going to start writing this way.  The grand joke would be on you because I'd know in some Andy Kaufmanesque way that it was all a farce. But then I realized something, I don't have the patience or dedication to follow through on anything. Sure I procrastinate, everyone does secretly, they just don't talk about it but that is not the main thing holding me back.

I got to thinking about why I am such a failure at life. I am a fairly intelligent, fairly skilled person. I may have been massaged by the hands of homeliness, but I haven't been beaten by the ugly stick. At the very least I have enough ability to have modest success in the world and yet, I have none. Certainly I have crippling fears and odd paranoias but nothing that should truly inhibit me. 

Besides the real genius's who have a gift for thinking and invention the world is composed of people who just get things done, barely. Certainly most of these people are stupid but they are willing to toot their own horn if ever the opportunity arises. "I give 110% everyday, in everything I do." No you don't, you just show up everyday. If you have an office job you are scratching your balls and playing tetris most of the time. If you are in a warehouse or doing construction you are seeking ways to do your assigned work as slowly as possible so that it takes all day. 

I can't condemn these people absolutely, because I lack even what they have and that is follow through. People who are like me who are too proud to call themselves lazy would say that they are idea people. Being an idea person is another way of saying "I'd rather sit and think about work, then actually do the work." Who couldn't build a pyramid if all you had to do was think about it and 9000 slaves would pop into existence and start building it for you?

To end on a positive note, this blog is my attempt at follow through, and even though I failed at following through on my elaborate joke, I will be following through on entertaining my followers by writing more hilarity infused posts.