I thought about continuing the sellout version of my blog. I wanted you my loyal followers to think "Oh Em Gee" he's really going to start writing this way. The grand joke would be on you because I'd know in some Andy Kaufmanesque way that it was all a farce. But then I realized something, I don't have the patience or dedication to follow through on anything. Sure I procrastinate, everyone does secretly, they just don't talk about it but that is not the main thing holding me back.
I got to thinking about why I am such a failure at life. I am a fairly intelligent, fairly skilled person. I may have been massaged by the hands of homeliness, but I haven't been beaten by the ugly stick. At the very least I have enough ability to have modest success in the world and yet, I have none. Certainly I have crippling fears and odd paranoias but nothing that should truly inhibit me.
Besides the real genius's who have a gift for thinking and invention the world is composed of people who just get things done, barely. Certainly most of these people are stupid but they are willing to toot their own horn if ever the opportunity arises. "I give 110% everyday, in everything I do." No you don't, you just show up everyday. If you have an office job you are scratching your balls and playing tetris most of the time. If you are in a warehouse or doing construction you are seeking ways to do your assigned work as slowly as possible so that it takes all day.
I can't condemn these people absolutely, because I lack even what they have and that is follow through. People who are like me who are too proud to call themselves lazy would say that they are idea people. Being an idea person is another way of saying "I'd rather sit and think about work, then actually do the work." Who couldn't build a pyramid if all you had to do was think about it and 9000 slaves would pop into existence and start building it for you?
To end on a positive note, this blog is my attempt at follow through, and even though I failed at following through on my elaborate joke, I will be following through on entertaining my followers by writing more hilarity infused posts.