I Don't Know What Is Going On In The World.

I used to watch the news and develop well thought out political opinions. Let me try that again. I used to watch the Daily Show, it was filled with well thought out political opinions. Often I would flip around the dial during commercials and see an occasional news story about some far off geographical place that was experiencing some far off geographical turmoil. I thought to myself: "Self, can you believe the atrocities that other people around the globe are facing?" I thought to myself: "Self, you should talk to other people around you and inform them of these atrocities."


In many cases the people I talked to had also been briefed via the News and Daily Show about what was going on around the world. Since our general political principles were the same and since we generally lived in the same geographical area by a similar economic standard, we had a similar general outlook on the situation. If pressed to find the location on the map of the crisis du jour we probably couldn't. What we could do however was pass judgment on the way that people lived in that geographical area. Some of these people didn't wipe their asses with toilet paper or have flush toilets for Christ sake, surely they were developmentally challenged mouth breathers.

But something happened one day, I lost my access to cable television. I moved out of my cozy 75 square foot studio apartment and into a massive 150 square foot one. During that time I neither had cable television nor did I have cable internet. Further, I was born after 1980 so I don't even know what a newspaper is nor how to read one. One time I tried and accidentally set the kitchen on fire. During this period of transition I would often encounter people on the street who would say "Hey, how bout that local sports team?" to which I would reply "Well, it all really comes down to leadership and coaching. We've got some good young players this year so hopefully we'll see the playoffs." Frankly, I wasn't sure what sport we were talking about but if you ever find yourself stuck in a similar situation that remark usually works.

Eventually I did get the internet up and running again but I never got my beloved cable back. At some point I was thrust into a situation of mixed company and they began talking politics and current religious wars. I realized that I had no idea what they were talking about. Unlike sports, I didn't have any blanket statement that I could throw out there to convince the others I was hip to the game. Instead, every one of their utterances was met with my blank stare and me saying "Oh, did that really happen?? sheesh." I realized that I didn't know what was going on in the world and I kind of liked it.

Don't get me wrong I don't want other people in far off distant lands to suffer I was just awakened to the freedom of not knowing about said suffering. I realized that knowing what was going on in other countries that I had no impact on positively changing, only added to the tension and grief that I already felt in life. Further, not knowing allowed me to escape pompous discussions from friends and family about "What we should be doing as a country" and from hearing the same small recycled piece of general knowledge that CNN and other News outlets collectively briefed America with.

I understand that it is not Christian of me to lower the amount of "likes" for Tsunami relief in Japan by one. I'm not even going to pretend that I know what the hell is/was going on in Egypt either. Obviously I could quickly go out and read a few articles and familiarize myself with the details. I could then go and pompously look down upon someone who is as ignorant as I am. But, this is not an essay about me being consumed with the comings and goings of Kim Kardashian. This is not an essay about my love of Juicy Couture and attaining material wealth and possessions while ignoring important political issues. It is the realization that even when I am moderately informed about what is going on in other parts of the world I can a) do nothing about it and b) I legitimately know nothing about it. Any action or opinion I might formulate will be biased to how the information is a) presented to me and how b) limited to my perspective on how I was raised and socialized.

Have you ever been having a deeply person conversation with a significant other or friend? You know, the type of conversation that you might only have 4 times in your life. You're really getting into the important details of what it means to be you as a person. You start to uncover unknown truths about yourself and the person you are talking to. You begin to feel closer to them, you begin to feel a sense of meaning and purpose in your life. Just then a third party walks into the room and says "Hey, whatcha talkin' bout?" and you say "The deeply important details that govern our entire lives." and they say: "Cool, I'm going to take the very limited information you have given me and quickly develop a broad stroke solution that insults both of you while simultaneously making me look like a prick. How's that sound?" and you say "Um........great."

Serial Killers Are Lame

When I was younger, I was fascinated with serial killers. I wasn't obsessed with the killing, I was obsessed with the minds of serial killers. During my formative years there was a plethora of television shows and movies that depicted serial killers as these reclusive diabolical geniuses. Every move a serial killer would make was thought out in advance with contingencies put in place in case anything went wrong. They were always 5 moves ahead of the cops and the only time they ever got caught was if they turned themselves in.


I could identify with the killers in movies and TV because I hated people for the same reasons they hated people. The people they killed were mean, stupid, abhorrent individuals. Further, the serial killer had thought provoking ideas on the way the world should be, but he faced limitations that didn't allow him to implement his revolutionary plans. Real serial killers don't compare to the generous way that they are portrayed on television. When they say serial killers are of above average intelligence, that doesn't mean that they are geniuses, that just means that most of them, if they tried could probably achieve a college degree.

The reason serial killers kill is not because the world has overlooked their inherent specialness, they kill because they are mentally ill. If they aren't sick, then the reason they kill is simply because they are good at nothing else. Why do you think some men get good at bowling, pool or darts? It's because they have little to no athletic ability but their desire to compete and achieve pushes them into an arena where they can succeed. Many killers I imagine come to the same crossroad in life. They realize that what they are passionate about they are no good at. By accident or out of rage/frustration they make their first kill. From killing they get a feeling of power and success, one they never had before. The power that they feel is fleeting because after the kill subsides they are reintroduced into the real world, a harsh and apathetic place. In order to feel special and powerful, they must kill again and so they plot their next move. 


Charles Manson didn't become the next Bob Dylan because he sucked as musician, not because people didn't get his music. Sure, the Zodiac killer used symbol substitution but his methods nor his messages were very complex. Dahmer? a sex deprived homosexual who didn't have enough pick up lines to get guys into bed so he bludgeoned them instead. Gacy buried the bodies of his victims underneath his own house, what kind of genius plants evidence on himself?

There is no serial killer who has made any true contributions to the scientific or artistic worlds before going on a killing spree. The reason serial killers kill is because they want, love, fame or recognition but they don't have the skills necessary to earn it, so they kill people instead.