Showing posts with label redundant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label redundant. Show all posts

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Do It To Me Generation




On the slight chance that you have not figured this out through reading my blog let me first preface this post by saying that I generally hate everything. Even things that I think that I like I eventually start hating. So please don't be surprised when I mention something that you (my loyal readers) like but I say I hate. Whenever I hate something it is typically the pompous douchiness that surrounds the concept or action not the specific action itself (well, a few things actually are lame, sorry skinny jeans) Moving right along let's get to todays topic: The do it to me generation.


As I've stated in earlier blogs we once were a species of pioneers and creativity and now we have become high tech rearrangers. To be fair, the world no longer honors mastery of skill, a unique idea or delayed gratification. Also in this day an age most of our immediate needs are met. We as people don't need to know how to fabricate engine parts for our Oldmobile out of a tin can. We don't need to build a part for our fridge or lathe a door that doesn't close correctly. The unfortunate bi-product of having everything readily available and having all of our needs met is that we become easily bored. We are easily bored because there is no challenge to fix or build something independently. Sure there is technology left to be discovered but most of that is at the end of a high tech microscope and after years of education. There are very few modest wins for an individual to conquer on a lazy sunday afternoon. 




And so is born what I would call the Do It To Me Generation. The DITMG is littered with people with no real goals because everything that could be done has already been done. There is no great insight or idea to talk about. We are no longer individuals going out and impressing on the world, rather we are unambitious observers that allow the world to impose on us while we remain motionless. 




A fellow blogger once asked "What kind of tattoo should I get?" to which I replied "A phoenix holding a Koi fish with some Japanese writing on it." He didn't get the joke. I later explained that the tattoo idea was a combination of a few tattoo cliches that have been used by millions of other "original" people.  We have indirectly backed into my first example of the do it to me generation and that is: tattoos.




Tattoos in principle are a fine idea. A lasting imprint of an image or a meaningful saying that has guided and/or inspired your life is an alright idea. However, when you don't know what tattoo you want to get and you are entertaining ideas you probably are not ready for the experience. This response these days is not uncommon. You will also find that people have unwarranted desires to pierce their face, tongue and various other body parts with seemingly no explanation. 




If it is not "alternative" tats and piercings, then it's a desire for plastic surgery. If it's not plastic surgery then, to a lesser extent we slap some spinners on a piece of shit car. The world is now inundated with two tone paint jobs, ram air hoods and racing stripes. All of these interesting and unique snowflakes will blather on for hours about the modifications they hope to get or have already gotten but once they run dry on that topic they have nothing left. I'm sure that there is one intelligent person out there reading this who has a tattoo who is thinking "I object to what you are saying." Well, I have news for you, you are running with a pack of idiots and you are the shining star minority among them. Most people who buy in do so because they are not intelligent or interesting enough to do something actually meaningful/useful with their lives.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Edge


I want to be less edgy. Currently my blog is a tamer, lamer version of how I feel. My humour and many of my real thoughts are quite dark. I imagine that darkness is a manifestation of my fear of death. You know who doesn't want to read about your fear of death? Everybody. Well, there could be a few weird ones who think that they are edgy and unique who will listen. They unfortunately will only read a few paragraphs before retreating back into the belief that they're the only ones who know true suffering. I know this because Tyler knows this. 




I want to be less edgy, yes even less edgy than I already am because I want people to read what I write. I don't want to scare people off with some pretentious esoteric scribblings. I want to be inclusive and accepting. I want to be the voice of the people. 


I have been looking at blogs from all around the world in the last few days to try to get a feeling for what people are interested in reading about. I have narrowed the field down to a few main categories:


1) Cats/Animals
2) Fashion/Makeup
3) Politics
4) Technology Reviews


In my attempt to grasp at more blog hits and by association greatness I bring you the first entry of my brand new blog style.


Hey loyal follower, Today Lucy (she's my cat) came over and sat on my lap. You know what she did after that? she started pushing up and down on me, trying to soften me up like I was her bed LOL! cats think that we are warm chairs. If I didn't mention this already my cat is super smart, she knows how to poop in the toilet (For realz) but unfortunately she can't flush. Talk about an awkward moment when you go to pee at 2 a.m. and the kitty is hunched over the toilet reading the San Francisco Chronicle. 




My dogz's name is Lola, she's a pug. Pugs are ugly as hell. At best their faces look like tired old men at the nursing home, at worst they look like someone glued a couple of golf balls to a scrotum. Since I am too poor and irresponsible to have children, my wife likes to dress the dog up like it's a person. She is ashamed of this behavior but she does it anyway. I think that they should have a fashion blog for dogs so that they can get all the latest styles. They probably do but they need to have a segment where the super tall, skinny, gaunt dogs walk down the runway. Make it work!




I think that makeup is cool. When I was a kid I used to like to put my mom's makeup on. Sometimes when no one was home I would put my mom's clothes on and walk around in her shoes and say "I'm the queen, nice to meet you." Next thing you know I'm in therapy and the psychologist is saying "It's okay, you can tell me if you're gay." Naw, LOLZ that never happened I was just joshing your chain.


How about that Obama eh? I either agree with his politics or I believe that he is a dirty Muslim sinner (audience dependent). Since I hail from Canada originally I think it is absurd that a base level of health care is even being argued over. On the other hand, get your hands off my money Juan and go back to your own country, but leave the churros, thanks. 




Ipads, they suck. I can't afford one, screw you for having one. If you want me to change my opinion send me two.



So that's it, entry one of my new style I hope you enjoyed it!