Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Happy People

I'm sorry happy people, I don't mean to harsh your mellow. I was recently logging onto my barren Twitter account where I have up to and including 1(one) follower and I read some of the days most popular tweets among them was one that said "stop being so negative people" which was retweeted 100+ times and one by E! correspondent Giuliana Rancic who said:

"Spent last five minutes in car with no radio saying what I'm grateful for. The more grateful we are the more good comes our way, Try it!"

First off I'd like to say, please die. Is it wrong for me to wish death and cancer on these people? probably. I'm tired of happy, employed and established people that condescend to the rest of the world claiming that happiness is just one good thought away. Happiness isn't a mindset, it is a condition brought on from having a lot of money, beauty, adoration, power, respect or all of the above. I guarantee if some sciency person made a sciency chart it would reveal a correlation between unhappiness and a lack of the aforementioned things. Well, I guess I forgot to put drugs on the list. Copious amounts of drugs could also lead to temporary happiness.

Secondly, if you are happy (and I mean in the absolute sense) you are either five years old or you are dumb. No one who is aware of the suffering and dying of others around them should be happy. If you are, you are living in a state of denial. Either that or you are so selfish at your core that the panged hungry cries of an emaciated inner city child mean nothing to you.

Telling people that you are happy is a dark and dirty device. It's just like telling people that you lost 100 pounds. We can see visually that you lost weight. The only reason that you seek to tell everyone about it is because of the power it gives you. "Look at me and how special I am because I have found the solution to my problem, please envy me." It is the same thing with happiness. People want to rub it in your face, half to convince you and half to convince themselves. "Once I found Billy, I knew he was the one and we lived happily ever after."

I also despise the way the news picks and chooses news stories to push a happy agenda. Every week you'll find some upbeat strong willed person who is fighting cancer. They will tell the world that sickness isn't getting them down if anything it has only made them appreciate life more. Perhaps I come from a cynical family but I don't remember my grandmother telling me how good her ovarian cancer made her feel before she died. I don't remember my grandfather feeling satisfied with his Alzheimer's. I do on several occasions recall him remembering that he was losing his mind. An 80 year old man sobbing like a child, they must have been tears of joy!

Finally, what is so wrong with being a pessimist? I think the general public feels as though telling people that you are pessimist is like telling them that you don't recycle. Pessimists see the problems before they occur so they can fix them. Pessimists protect the feelings of other people from being hurt because they anticipate bad situations. Somewhere along the way we have bought into the belief that thinking positively makes positive things happen. I would argue that more good is done by pessimists trying to prevent bad things from occurring than by optimists hoping that good things will happen. For example, I'll expect that the world is chaotic and I'll get screened for cancer. If cancer exists I will expect it to be the worst kind and I will seek the most vigorous treatment. You just keep chugging along expecting good things to happen and being grateful for whatever happens in your life. Should you get cancer, stay positive, wish it away. See how well that works for you.


  1. But if the optimists all die how will we pessimists get our laughs?

  2. I now know I am a pessimist thanks for showing what one is :)

    well written.

  3. Ryan, I'm working through my demons. I'll see you on the other side.

  4. Drone uve got pessimism wrong. Anticipating the worst and working out a solution is not what pessimists do. Pessimists only "think" and let me get that straight, they only "think" of the worst, "do" nothing about it. If u take action, u r not a pessimist only for thinking negative. Good writing btw!