Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Street Smarts Guy

Do you know street smarts guy? You'll find him at every 7-11 in every small town. His age ranges from 15-35. He doesn't have a lot of friends but he's got a lot of ambition. He might be a small time drug dealer or a small time thief. If neither of these apply he might work a subordinate job on a construction site or any other outdoor labor profession. Street smarts guy is usually white but is sometimes black, I've never come across one of any other race. His manner of dress is that of a tough guy. Most come equipped with the gangsta look, baggy pants layered clothing a crooked cap or a doo rag. For others it is jeans and a tight T-shirt with shorter than normal arms or with the sleeves rolled up to expose well developed biceps.

You may encounter street smarts guy with a different appearance but the following is how you can be sure if you've met him. During a conversation you will unknowingly drop what he would call a three dollar word. A three dollar word in general is a word that is beyond the realm of the common people. Some words that come to mind are sardonic or maudlin. A three dollar word to Street smarts guy however is any word with 3 syllables. Salivate, commiserate, interstate, procreate, these are all terms that will put a confused and worried look on street smart guys face. He's afraid to admit that his education and comprehension skills are so poor that he doesn't know the meaning of the words. Further because of his lack of formal education he cannot even muster a guess at what they could mean.

It is at this time or shortly after that street smarts guy will casually bring up the subject of street smarts. He will say "I'm not book smart, I'm street smart." This will be followed by him weaving a grand tale about how he has learned things on the street that no one could know and because of it he is superior. He will paint a picture as though he was divinely chosen to possess his skills and that no one else but him could have them.

The truth, he's an idiot. You know it, I know it, he knows it. He, like a stupid and afraid person tries to mask his faults and weaknesses. A smarter person would be able to honestly say, these are my faults____, my ambition for power and money are greater than my skills to achieve the greatness that I desire. Because of this I have deluded myself into believing that I possess something special even though I cannot intelligently define it.

Do you want to be street smart? here is the key:

Everyone is out to take advantage of you. Be suspicious of everyone in every instance and anticipate being 

fucked over. Should you come across someone who trusts you, figure out how to steal from them and fuck them over. Now go and get some baggy clothes and you're all set.

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